We’re Human. It Happens.

Today I learned something about myself: Happiness doesn’t just come naturally for everyone. It doesn’t come naturally for me. Sometimes I have to try really hard to be happy. Other times it’s easier. Today it was easy.

Also… bias’ are natural. Negative thinking is natural. But it’s up to me to voice my bias or negativity. I get to chose to express my verdict. Sometimes I express this verdict freely, TOO freely. Othertimes I don’t. I’m finding that maturaity plays a large role in this preserving of opinion. People like you better when you don’t always give them your opinion. That whole, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all” saying that our mom’s always said when we were little… well, it has some truth.

Now I’m a big believer is being yourself, but sometimes being yourself will cost you. Are you willing to pay the price? Frankly, I like friends. I like being liked. Duh. So in turn, I have to shut up. Sometimes I slip. Sometimes my face says it all. But it can be monitored, especially in a uniform. Instead, I think it in my head. If I really can’t hold it in — then I write it down.

This morning I realized that I feel happy over absolutely nothing. I had a terrible morning yesterday and today I decided that I was not going to repeat that. Instead I went the extra mile to “fake” happiness. You know what? It fricken works!

I got to the PT field 25 minutes early. Ridiculous, right? And I sat in my warm car and watched Jenna Marble’s drunk kitchen video. It was 6 minutes of stupid awesomeness. I got out of the car to learn that James was going to lead PT today. YES YES YES! That means CrossFit!

We did a bunch of dynamic warm ups and tabata push ups, sit ups and burpees. I was in CrossFit HEAVEN.

Stole some more yogurt and a nutri-grain bar and marched my happy self to my room for some coffee and a shower.

Today we learned about Critical Thinking. More than I’d prefer actually. Our instructor is VERY, REALLY, TOO into thinking about Critical Thinking. I mean, I respect the guy just because he’s so gung ho about the whole topic. You go… man. I wish I shared half of his enthusiasm over thinking critically. Maybe one day.

This weekend is set… TUCSON! YEE!! Then… Next weekend is SAN DIEGO! I’m beginning to like this whole living in Arizona thing. Mini weekend trips, I can live with that.

Still haven’t found a riding facility to ride at here in Arizona. I just want someone to let me ride/brush their horse on the weekends. It’d pretty much be a dream come true if someone asked me to ride/hang out with my horses. I’m offering to volunteer: clean stalls, lounge, bathe, whatever they want… if they’ll just let me ride some broke horses! Why is that so difficult to accomodate!?!?

The second half of the day was really difficult to get through. I literally poked my eye with a key. As a joke of course. Our whole class was getting pretty loopy.

You know how I said that I’m working on holding my opinions to myself. Well I slipped today. I did the whole “clearing my throat” noise which turned into a really loud “clearing my throat” noise which sounded more like a “Shut the hell up!” Everyone looked at my like I was a bitch. Oops. I’m human too.

Best quote of the day was by Stephanie in reference to our teacher, “He’s beating that dead horse with a CLUB right now!” (He was. He got through only 17 power point slides in an entire day!!) You know when you start laughing, and you’re not supposed to be laughing, but you just can’t stop. And when you try to stop, you just laugh more? Well, that’s what happened. So I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom to let out all the giggles. My mom and I do this all the time. I know it’s not good or professional — but give me a break, we spent an ENTIRE day talking about “thinking critically” — ADD was kicking in high gear that’s for sure!

Tomorrow is another day of “thinking critically” — but hey! It will be FRIDAY!! I’m really looking forward to being in the field next week. (Apart from the no showering aspect.) The field is relaxing for me and the days go by quickly. AKA: No power point slides, briefs and eye poking with car keys. I just hope I don’t freeze to death at night!




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